Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Kenapa so susah?

Life has been hectic
with both dance club's performance coming up, I hardly have my own time
what to say more when there's volunteering group thingy to prepare, all those courses
it really menyakitkan my heart when I'm the one who cares more
hey SENIOR. sorry but I'm not rude for no reason
you really crossed the line a little
why are we always the ones suiting you huhh?
well of course you dance better than us, look, everyone says so.
but anyway I think you kind of fail as a leader
unlike other dance styles, girl style is not warm
It is just like a training course
people come and go
no interaction whatsoever 
you do as you wish
you command us
you blame us
OKAY.
I admit that we're really bad.
BUT NOT ALL OF US DIDN'T REVISE
AND NOT ALL OF US WERE LATE
STOP THINKING SO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF
seriously.
I don't feel happy dancing here.
I miss everyone back in Studio 23
I miss the atmosphere there
I miss everyone in Kuching
I hurt myself a little today
and the urge of tearing just hit me
I feel so frustrated and sad

I mean
people have different lines
for me 
being too much of a control freak and accusing me of something I've clearly not done are them
oh. and disturbing me when I'm focusing on a certain thing
or when you act like the same problem we share isn't yours, only mine.

gosh.
this is a super long ranting full of negativity
trust me I don't want this too
but I really can't bear it anymore
or else I would be studying biology experiment instead of updating my blog rn
cz I'm really too sakit hati already

Haih.

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停滯不前

好像考完國考就一直處於這種狀態 其實也沒有做什麼但卻每天都很累 她們問我其他時間都在做什麼 我想好國考後就是要減肥、練體力 她們問 還有呢? 我不知道欸 妳們不知道所以問我 我原本沒有想那麼多那麼遠 但現在她們好像都找到了自己該前往的方向 只剩下我還停在原點 ...